Used To
by She Who Shall Go Nameless
Summary: Based on the song by Chris Daughtry. They used to be the best of friends. LilySev


**Well, I'm back with some good old Lily/Sev. The song is Used To be Chris Daughtry. Enjoy!**

_You used to talk to me like  
I was the only one around.  
You used to lean on me like  
The only other choice was falling down.  
You used to walk with me like  
We had nowhere we needed to go,  
Nice and slow, to no place in particular._

"Lily, please!" Severus knew he was pleading now, but he didn't care. He needed her back, no matter what it took. She had no idea how much she meant to him, and how much he needed her in his life. She had no inkling of the regret he felt already…enough to fill a million galaxies.

"We can do this still, Lily. We can!"

She bit her lip. It was adorable. He wanted so much to kiss her, but he knew she wouldn't like it.

She wanted to believe him, yet she could only have her heart broken so many times. She could only be betrayed so many times. She could only cry so many tears. Now she didn't know what to do.

_We used to have this figured out;  
We used to breathe without a doubt.  
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.  
We used to have this under control.  
We never thought.  
We used to know.  
At least there's you, and at least there's me.  
Can we get this back?  
Can we get this back to how it used to be?_

_Can we go back?_ Lily wondered. _I've changed, he's changed. For better, for worse, but for certain, we are different people now._

"Can it go back to how it was, Sev?"

It was Severus' turn to bite his lip. "What do you mean?"

She was crying now, and he took her in his arms. She didn't pull away, but talked muffled into his shoulder. "How we were. When we were small. No Lord Voldemort, no Hogwarts, just us. Can we be the way we were then?"

She was asking for the impossible, and she knew it. _Life is a one-way street. It just loops back on itself sometimes._

"You used to mean so much to me, Sev!" she cried.

He tightened his grip on her. "Used to?"

_I used to reach for you when  
I got lost along the way.  
I used to listen.  
You always had just the right thing to say.  
I used to follow you.  
Never really cared where we would go,  
Fast or slow, to anywhere at all._

She was right, of course. They _had _changed. Severus suddenly realized what a terrible friend he had become. _What has happened to me?_

"Lily, we can't go back, but we can go forward," he whispered. She stopped crying and pulled away.

"We can't!" she exclaimed. "We're too different. I have my life, and you have yours. They don't go together."

"I could change. No more mean friends. No more dark magic."

She laughed hysterically, covering her face. "You would give up your own life for me? You would leave everything, to be my friend? You would do that, Sev?"

She was laughing, but he was deathly serious. The time had come to tell her. He had to tell her.

"Lily, you _are_ my everything," he said quietly. His eyes told her he meant every word.

_We used to have this figured out;  
We used to breathe without a doubt.  
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.  
We used to have this under control.  
We never thought.  
We used to know.  
At least there's you, and at least there's me.  
Can we get this back?  
Can we get this back to how it used to be?_

"Sev, I _can't_," she said miserably, and ran away. And, now, Severus knew it was over. He had made I deadly mistake, and it had cost him the one thing in his life that he cared about: Lily.

It didn't even occur to him to follow her. It wouldn't make a difference.

_I look around me,  
And I want you to be there  
'Cause I miss the things that we shared.  
Look around you.  
It's empty, and you're sad  
'Cause you miss the love that we had._

It seemed incredible that he managed to get up everyday, go to class, and sleep again. He felt like a shell, the shell of a once happy man. Lily's friendship truly had meant everything to him.

_  
You used to talk to me like  
I was the only one around,  
The only one around._

He watched from his hiding place as the marriage took place. It was unreal to him, as if he might wake up at any moment to find that is was just a dream, a nightmare. But he knew there was no waking, and no-one to comfort him in his grief. He was utterly alone.

_  
We used to have this figured out;  
We used to breathe without a doubt.  
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.  
We used to have this under control.  
We never thought.  
We used to know.  
At least there's you, and at least there's me.  
Can we get this back?  
Can we get this back to how it used to be? Yeah._

He closed the photo album, so as not to spill tears on it. He hurt so badly now, but it was worth it.

It would be worth a thousand crucifixions to relive happier times, if only for a little while. That was why he did it.

_To how it used to be.  
To how it used to be, yeah.  
To how it used to be.  
To how it used to be._

**So, I was feeling the need for a new fic, and then I was listening to the song, and I thought, That would make a great fic! So, here it is. I was actually listening to the song while I was writing The Second Prophecy's next chapter. Let me tell you, that one needs love. I have gotten no suggestions at all from people, and almost no reviews lately too! I have no idea where to go with that one, and I would love some suggestions. Please?**

**So, you know the drill. The cute little button is dying, and you shall swoop in and be it's hero.**


End file.
